I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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