And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
