i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish you could order shots online.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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