Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize