If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I understand Curling. That high.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I would ride that face into the sunset
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
