Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
