But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
