I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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