Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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