ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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