walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
did you just send me my own nude
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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