How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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