We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
