i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Shame - the story of my life.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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