How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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