She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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