I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
