I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
