I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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