Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
porn star boner night. come get it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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