you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize