I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
