my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize