i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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