we have pet lesbian snakes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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