We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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