oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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