Jerry, you need to find god
Fuck appropriateness.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
