I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
