Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
