Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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