drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
