Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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