you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize