Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
