My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
