when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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