did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
