Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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