it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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