I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
