i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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