Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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