So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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