Don't you send me to vm
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
