ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
