Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
