I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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