you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
