Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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