Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
