All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
