naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
