Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
