I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize