have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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