**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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