girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
