I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
