ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
