I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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