weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
