In America we eat man semen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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